Rio, I just want to take this moment to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating ketchup-flavored chips. I’ve always had a secret (err, ok, maybe not so secret) addiction to potato chips.. Ever since I was a kid whose tiger mom wouldn’t let her play video games, have short hair, wear spaghetti-strap tank tops, or eat junk food.
..HOW YA LIKE ME NOW, MOM?
Just kidding, I love you mom. You were totally right about spaghetti-straps (only hussies wear them).
Anyway. The point is: Now that I’m an adult and I can eat all the junk food I want, I have discovered that ketchup-flavored potato chips Really Hit The Spot..
Not only does it satisfy my inner need to rebel against the tiger mother, it strangely reminds me of home. This latter part really doesn’t make any sense though because I’ve never even seen ketchup-flavored potato chips in the States. It must just be that my brain is latching onto ketchup as a symbol of everything American, and so it’s somehow like eating Essence of America.
Thanks Brazil. :)
More specifically, thanks Pão de Açucar! Pão de Açucar is a somewhat fancy/middle-class supermarket chain here in Rio. My friend Thati told me that “Qualitá” is their house-brand of potato chips.. And then she made the following analogy: “It’s like if you went to Walmart, and bought ‘Walmart Chips’.” Thank you Thati, but that is disgusting, and I love ketchup chips too much to agree with that analogy. Hmph.
So far, Pão de Açucar is the only company that I’ve seen here in Rio that has had the brilliant idea of making their chips ketchup-flavored. Here’s the product page for ketchup chips on their official site. They’re R$ 1.98 which means they’re about $0.99 USD. Pretty expensive, really, for a tiny bag of chips. Whenever I go to their store, I always look and ask for a BIG bag of ketchup chips… But they don’t sell them in economy-size bags apparently, only tiny snack bags.. :(
Another brilliant invention by the Brazilians is their “3 in 1” sauce: a blend of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise… So you don’t have to buy these condiments separately and mix them yourself!
If that’s not sheer brilliance, I don’t know what it is. [Disclaimer: I have not yet tried this sauce for myself. Attempt at your own risk.]
More brilliance in the form of bacon-flavored ramen:
It smelled like bacon, and right when I put it in my mouth I THOUGHT it would taste like bacon.. But it actually just tasted like salty.
And still MORE BRILLIANCE in the form of “grilled chicken” and “turkey breast” flavored chips:
They did actually taste a bit like grilled chicken and turkey breast respectively… but in the weirdest way ever.