“This Is Not Your House”: Part 3 (New Apartment!)

[For the backstory, see Part 1 and Part 2.]

So the saga of Mrs. Brazilian is finally coming to an end I think..!

About 2 weeks ago I moved in to Laura’s room (Mrs. Brazilian’s daughter). The reason that Mrs. Brazilian gave for having me do this was because she had a friend from France, Jean, coming to visit her and he needed a place to stay. So I moved in to Laura’s room. her room is about half the size of the room I was originally in (and had paid for), but no matter.

A few days after moving in, I expected to see a Frenchman in the room that I had originally been occupying. An entire week passed… And still no one. In fact, the only person who stayed in that room was Laura and her boyfriend.

I decided not to say anything, since I would be moving out soon anyway, and, really, part of me didn’t want to know. So I was surprised when Mrs. Brazilian came up to me to tell me what happened.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she started, with a distraught look on her face. “That man never came.”

I was confused.

“What man?”

“The man that was going to rent your room of course! I was going to return you your rent for June using the money he gave me, but he never showed up!”

“Wait… You mean your friend from France?”

“Yes, of course! In the end he decided not to stay here. I won’t be able to give you your money back for June. You should just move back into that room for June. Since you’ve already paid for it, it’s yours.”

At this point, you can of course imagine how bewildered I was. Somehow, in the course of a week, her friend from France, Jean, turned into just another guy who was going to rent that room. I decided not to push that point. The bigger point at hand seemed to be that she was telling me she wasn’t going to be giving me ANY money back for June, and that was totally out of the question.

“Okay, so you were going to use the money that the French guy gave you for that room to pay me back for June, right? And now that he’s not renting, you don’t have the money.. Is that it?”

“Yes, that’s it. You should just stay there.”

“Well I can’t.. I mean we’ve talked about this.. I’d like to live somewhere where I can use the kitchen to cook..”

“But of course you can use the kitchen to cook! Feel free to use the kitchen as you like!”

“..Right… Well I also keep getting these bites you know…” I motioned to the various flea bites on my arms and neck.

“Oh yes, your allergy.”

“..Yes. My allergy.”

Since no one else in the house seems to be getting bit by the fleas in her house, Mrs. Brazilian likes to refer to my flea bites as merely my “allergy.” Yeah, I’m not kidding.

“Okay, so then what do you want me to do? I don’t have the money for you.” At this point she no longer seemed distraught and wore, instead, a look of annoyance.

“Well, I do need that money… there’s no way at all? Is there a way for you to give me some of it now, when I move out on Monday? I mean, originally you said you would have the R$ 1000 for me the day I moved out, that only seems fair..”

“Look, I really don’t want to do this, but if you are forcing me to, I will go into my savings account and take out R$ 500 for when you move out.”

“Okay, so then you can have R$ 500 for me when I move out, and I can come back after to pick up the other R$ 500?”

“No, of course not! It’s either R$ 500 in your hand when you move out on Monday, or you have to wait for the whole amount.”

“Wait… so you think you’ll have R$ 1000 in a month or so?”

“No, I won’t have it in a month, but I might at the beginning of August. I’m sure I can rent out the room for July, even though right now no one is renting it for June.”

“I see.. Why can’t you give me R$ 500 when I move out, and then the rest in August..?”

“Because I can’t. That’s not how it works. Brazilians don’t return money, you don’t seem to understand this. I can either return R$ 500 when you move out, or you have to wait until August for the whole amount.”

“…Right.. Okay. As long as you write me a receipt when I move out, let’s plan for me to come back in August.”

“Of course I’ll write you a receipt, once you give me the key.”

“Okay, very well. “

And that seemed to be the end of that.

..Until, a few days later, when she knocked on Laura’s bedroom door one evening. She asked if she could show Laura’s bedroom to a potential renter, so I said sure. Mrs. Brazilian then said “Don’t say anything to them. I’ll do all the talking.” What?

The potential renter came and went, Mrs. Brazilian every bit the nice older lady she was when she had showed me my new room only 3 months before…

Afterwards, Mrs. Brazilian knocked on my door again. She came in and sat down on the bed, where I was seated with my computer, and high-fived me with both hands (I’m not making this up).

“They want the room!”

“Oh.. great! The guy who just came and saw it?”

“Yes! He wants the room! So I will have your money for you after all when you move out!”

“Oh, that’s great! Good job!”

“Yes, this is such a relief!”

“Awesome. So you’ll give me R$ 500 when I move out, and then I’ll come back in August for the rest, right?”

“Yes, for sure.”

“Okay, great, thanks.”

So that happened.

Finally, moving out day came. I had my suitcase, my backpack, and a trash bag tied up tightly with all my flea-infested clothes inside, ready to head out the door. I handed her the key and asked her if she had R$ 500 for me. She gave me a look of disdain and handed me R$ 300.

“No,” she said, brusquely. “Here’s your R$ 300.”

“It’s not R$ 500..?”

“No,” again, brusquely. “You’ll get the rest in August.”

“Okay, fine.. Can you write me a receipt?”

So she wrote me a receipt that says she still owes me R$ 700, and I was out the door. She said to just give her a call in August to arrange a time for me to pick up the money.


At this point I don’t even care about money. I don’t exactly have high hopes that I will be getting R$ 700 from her in August, but it would be silly of me not to at least show up at her apartment looking like I’m expecting it. We’ll see what happens, but for now I am just absolutely ELATED to be out of her flea-infested house.


I moved into my new apartment yesterday evening, after returning from my trip to São Paulo (blog post soon to come!). There were no sheets or pillows, so my first night in my new room was a little rough, but I went and bought a bedset today, so all is well.

Here’s a photo of my new bedroom!

New room! No fleas allowed :)

New room! No fleas allowed :)

So far no fleas, and I have full access to the kitchen. I am SO psyched to finally be able to cook my own meals again! Here’s a picture of one of my home-cooked meals in my new apartment!

3 slices of prosciutto, kale/collard greens, 2 eggs, sauteed mushrooms, a tomato, and some wild rice. :)

3 slices of prosciutto, kale/collard greens, 2 eggs, sauteed mushrooms, a tomato, and some wild rice. :)

I’m so glad to be out of Mrs. Brazilian’s apartment finally. Looking forward to the next month here, and hopefully more!


Click here to read Part 4 of my “adventures” with Mrs. Brazilian.


3 responses to ““This Is Not Your House”: Part 3 (New Apartment!)

  1. Pingback: “This Is Not Your House”: Part 4 (The End!) | RayRay in Rio!·

  2. Pingback: “This Is Not Your House” | RayRay in Rio!·

  3. Pingback: “This Is Not Your House”: Part 2 | RayRay in Rio!·

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